Wrote this a while ago on an unnamed blog. But have been thinking about it quite a bit lately… So. Edited. Updated.

Roses are red
Some diamonds are blue
Chivalry is dead,
But you’re still kinda cute

Yes, I did just quote Nelly Furtado and “Promiscuous Girl” – just how I roll. No big deal.

So, I know dating these days is a bit of a landmine field. Women demand to be respected and treated as equals but somehow men and women are still expected to retain their traditional roles in some ways. Every girl is different in how she expects to be treated, unfortunately, which doesn’t make it easier for guys.

I’m a bit of an contradiction myself.  I definitely expect to be treated as an equal – I can handle my life, I can live independently and I’m damn proud of it, and I want to be seen as a partner in crime rather than a submissive girlfriend.

However, there is something to be said about chivalry. And I am starting to fear it’s dead. Certainly my dating past hasn’t convinced me it is alive and well in our male population. I remember, once, on a first date, we walked to the guy’s place and he left me there. In the cold, at night, by myself. And so he went upstairs to his warm, cozy apartment while I got to walk to the streetcar stop and wait, in the cold, at night, by myself.

While I like to think I’m strong (read: athletic), I’m not stupid enough to believe I could fend off an attacker by myself. Sure, I might be able to get a few jabs in but from experience in horseplay with male friends, I know that when it comes push to shove, I am not in any way a match for most guys.

So I have to say, the impression that chivalry is dying has stayed with me. It is, unfortunately, not the only example of this kind of behaviour from a male counterpart. It seems most guys are more wrapped up in either: a. achieving their goals or b. themselves, than making a good impression on their dates.

I still think it’s a man’s duty to look out for his female companions and make sure they get home safely. And it’s not all about being polite and curteous, there’s definitely something more to it: it shows they care enough for my well-being. Even if it’s midday, it’s cute when they insist on walking me home. I appreciate it. Maybe not all females do but I would assume most would value the old-world gesture.

After all, most females are romantics at heart and would love to be swept off their feet.

Alternatively, I remember I went on one date with another guy. Not only did he pick up the lunch bill (which was quite large due to pitchers of beer that were consumed), he offered to accompany as I went to the store to pick up some quick items. After I bought my gum and a few other food items, he insisted on carrying my bag. I was impressed. But nothing compared to when we got to his car and he actually ran around to my side of the car and opened the car door for me. I was blown away. No one has ever done that for me.

And that makes me really sad. It was such a simple act but it has remained in my memory as one of the nicest things a guy has ever done for me on a first date. It stands out because guys just don’t do that kind of thing anymore. And honestly, I wish they would. It makes me feel like I’m respected, like the guy cares enough to look out for me. I don’t take it as an insult to my strength, my self-worth or my independence but more a homage to a time when men were expected to court women and treat them like honest-to-goodness ladies.

So could we please bring back chivalry? You don’t need to buy us diamond rings or flowers or extol our virtues in a sonnet. Just simple little gentlemanly things. You’ll be surprised how far they take you and how much they’re appreciated.

Readers, feel free to leave your comments on this subject matter here. Ladies, I’d love to know how you feel about so-called chivalry. And gentlemen, do you think it’s out of fashion? Do you feel females these days are not lady-like enough? Thoughts, I want to hear them!