I completely know what you mean by this entry, only in my case it was finally letting go of an attempt to be friends with an ex.

Realizing I wasn't getting anything from it at all and it was simply a waste of time, energy and emotion was one of the most freeing things I have felt in a long time. It's always comforting knowing that despite any initial pain, you'll be a better person for it.

And I can especially relate to the modern problem of completely removing someone from your life online as well – it gets hard to sometimes remember it all with FB, twitter, your blogroll and so on along with the regular emails, phone numbers, text msgs and any standard junk/letters.

I completely know what you mean by this entry, only in my case it was finally letting go of an attempt to be friends with an ex.

Realizing I wasn’t getting anything from it at all and it was simply a waste of time, energy and emotion was one of the most freeing things I have felt in a long time. It’s always comforting knowing that despite any initial pain, you’ll be a better person for it.

And I can especially relate to the modern problem of completely removing someone from your life online as well – it gets hard to sometimes remember it all with FB, twitter, your blogroll and so on along with the regular emails, phone numbers, text msgs and any standard junk/letters.

It’s funny you bring up Facebook, because due to something that happened on Facebook, that is the reason my friend had her friendship severed. So it works double time, bringing people together but also forcing them apart.

However, I think if you truly want to sever all ties with someone, you have to hit that ‘delete’ button. Or even blocking them. I’ve had to take a deep breath and do that a few times, just to ensure they really were out of my life.

But then all these new technological mechanisms for reconnecting are hoisted onto the public consciousness, and everyone stampedes back into each others’ lives… only to find out that they drifted away for a reason. Now we rarely get a clean sever, because these people malinger on ‘friend’ lists or friend-of-friend lists and the news feed continually reminds us that they’re out there, living life or whatever. Sure there’s always the possibility of an eventual closing of the gap, but more than anything Facebook serves to remind us, passively and chronically, of the drifts and cuts we’ve made in the past.

Not trying to be a luddite here, just find it interesting that the practice of severing ties is far more complicated than ever before. It’s sorta like the old familiar scene where a guy is hanging onto the edge of a ledge for dear life, and someone’s stomping his hands to get him to fall, but he keeps getting a fingerhold in somehow. Social networking technology is that last-ditch fingerhold.

Would love to write about the cut, however I fear it is not my story to tell. I want to respect the privacy of my friends and tried to tell this story without revealing too much about the who, the where, etc.

That said, it was abrupt and not my close friend’s decision.

As for my own cuts, I’ve ended a few friendships due to their lack of effort in keeping the friendship alive. Having tried too many time to make a connection, I simply gave up and allowed the friendship to drift aimlessly off into the unknown. Now, should they ever call me and need me for a serious reason at 4am, you can bet I’ll be there in a heartbeat. But I have given up trying to make it work in my everyday life when they so clearly don’t care enough to try.

Just want to say that the word ‘friend’ has lost all meaning. Friendy friend friend! Time for some synonyms.

Also, what might be interesting to read about is how your compatriot managed to ‘break up’ with this lifelong connection of theirs. Was it a coffee date, ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ kind of thing, followed by an indignant punch in the face? Was it it a gradual process of estrangement, where they didn’t return phone calls and made dates they never intended to keep?

The most awkward thing about severing such an aged connection is the cut. Write about the cut.